I have spent most of the last 7 days knitting socks, and yet, somehow I have lost 3lbs in weight. 

I therefore conclude that socks steal fat.

But seriously- diet is going well.  I have another appointment with the barriatric team today, as part of this 6month program, so everything is still more or less on track.

My Skin Is Here

The dinosaur costume arrived today.   It came all compressed in a tiny little plastic bag, but there was no way I could just stick it in a cupboard without getting it out and taking a look.

I was both amazed and delighted to find that it actually fits!!  Once I have lost weight it will be delightfully roomy, but I'm fairly sure that if I bought batteries for the fans I could use it right away.  I may do that at some point, just to make sure that the fans are working. ;)  We'll see.

It is now being stored in a Tescos 'Bag for Life' on the back of my bedroom door, because- of course- now that it has been unfolded there is simply no way in hell that it will ever go back into it's original package.  But that's ok.  It's even more awesome in person than it looked online, so I can't really complain. 

I am a very happy raptor right now. <3

I suppose the main reason why I don't update here often is because I feel I have very little to report.  My life carries on, and it feels like nothing changes... but looking back, things do actually change quite a bit.

I am still using a walking stick, but in the last few weeks my mobility appears to be very slowly improving.  I can walk longer between rests, and it hurts less when I finally stop.  I am still way, WAY below the speed and stamina that I used to have, but it's a step (or two) in the right direction.

Also, I am successfully losing weight!  Since starting Slimming World again, I have lost just over a stone.  I've had some rocky weeks, but on the whole the scales are showing numbers moving in the right direction.  This pleases me immensely!  
Also in weight-related news, I am now enrolled on the Barriatric Service's 6-month preparation course, which will almost certainly result in me being offered surgery in the first half of next year.  I was hoping it would be sooner, but apparently the government insists that there is some kind of 6-month program in place for anybody who is planning surgery on the NHS.  The team are all lovely people, and I am feeling positive about the outcomes.  I may do a post on it later on, when my choices are clearer.  But, it's still a positive step towards my goal of being a fit and active hunting dinosaur, able to chase down runners, rather than remaining a tired ambush-predator who can't catch anything faster than a rock.

But, there is one final piece of good news, and that is this:

It should be arriving on Monday, and I am over the moon. <3  I probably won't be able to physically fit in it yet (let alone caper about joyfully), but it has been ordered, and it is mine.  I was so afraid that I wouldn't be able to find one in stock by the time that I was ready to use it, that I felt it was worth taking the plunge now rather than waiting. 

I'll consider it my 'carrot on a stick' for this whole thing.  One day, before my 35th birthday, I will don this suit and chase marathon runners. 

Before that, however, my long-time best friend has invited me to take part in the annual 'Glow in the Park' run next year.  It's 6 miles, and it's more of a fun-run than a marathon.  I'm aiming to get fit enough to maybe walk it (preferably without my stick), and if possible, I will be dressed in this magnificent reptile demis.  I'm hoping it will look pretty awesome under all the black-lights. ;)  

Well then!

No idea what I lost today because the scales broke before I got weighed in!

Fingers crossed next week is good, though.

First week done...

.... I lost 10.5lbs. O_O

 This was an unexpected development, but needless to say I am over the moon about it! My housemate bought us both sushi to celebrate, which was also unexpected, and which I am also over the moon about. Sushi is amazing and I will (metaphorically) fight anybody who says otherwise.

 My back is still very painful and moving around is still nearly impossible, but I'm tentatively optimistic about the future. Here's to another good week, I guess. ;)

I think we can safely call this rock-bottom...

So, I've been away from here.  I set this blog up to be a place to chronicle something great- a life-changing experience- and so far all the changes I've been through have been negative.  The short walks?  Never happened.  Not for lack of trying, but I never really regained the strength after I had flu.  In fact, since my last post my mobility has declined dramatically, and my weight has actually increased significantly.  I have become border-line house-bound by it, and much as my GP is awesome, he's been at a loss to really help.  There is some speculation that I may be developing arthritis in my spine, but it could just be the weight.  Either way, I can't do anything- can't walk more than 50feet without stopping, can't use the exercise bike without massive amounts of pain.... definitely can't rollerskate.  None of it's good.

Just for fun, let's re-cap all the bad things that have happened to me since Christmas:

-Diagnosed with scarily high Blood Pressure.
-Lost my work contract (as I feared), and now unemployed.
-Diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes.
-Loss of mobility.
-Discovered a very large ovarian cyst after it caused crippling, oh-god-I'm-dying pain that landed me in A+E.
-Now need a walking stick to lean on while out and about.
-Unable to play Pokemon Go properly due to being more or less housebound.
-Unsurprising relapse of depression.

Doesn't look good, does it?

But, there are some positives!  And I am not taking this lying down....  For one thing, I've re-joining Slimming World, because it has worked for me in the past (though I did eventually relapse.)  My plan is to lose enough to tide me over until I can get my appointment with the barriatric team, since my willpower alone is unlikely to get me through to a healthy weight even if the diet does work in the short term.  Also, I'll be attending Slimming Wold with a friend of mine, and with any luck the extra support from her will help keep me going.

On the health/doctor side of things, I have a few good things on the horizon:

-I should be seeing the barriatric team at the end of September, if all goes to plan.
-I am due a scan for the cyst, so that the gynae team can take the damn thing out.  I am a man.  It's bad enough that I *have* ovaries, without them also producing pain-inducing giant balls of crap instead of doing their usual job.
-Vague promise that the gynae team will also remove all my remaining internal woman-bits, which will prevent the cyst from coming back.
-Found and purchased the most awesome walking stick that ever existed.

I also have not given up on my dream.  I started this blog because I want to chase marathon runners in a dinosaur costume, and dammit, that's still going to happen.   If my back really is screwed for good, then I'll just have to do it in a wheelchair or on a Segway, or something.  I can be Wheelasaurus Rex.  If my back recovers and I actually manage to lose weight, then it'll be Slimasaurus Rex.  But one way or another, it's going to happen.

I'm giving myself until my 35th birthday.
That's 3 years, so I don't think it's an unreasonable amount of time to get this sorted.  I'm also going to keep a record here of my weight loss, starting with my official Slimming World weigh-in from yesterday.

I'm ashamed to say that I am currently 23stone and 8.5lbs.  That's just over 330lbs.
It can only get lower from here though; if it gets any higher, I'm pretty sure I'm going to collapse under my own weight and we all know that that's how black holes form.  And nobody wants that happening in the middle of a built-up area.
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Man down.... and back up again....

For the last 10 days, I have had flu.  At first I thought it was a cold, and then I thought it was man-flu, but by day 4 I was incapable of speaking and couldn't stay awake for more than 2 hours at a time.  I don't like being ill at the best of times, and being ill AND not being able to talk... well... that's a special kind of torture for me. 

Today I am finally well enough to get out of the house again. 

I took a short walk to the local shop to get myself some celebratory bananas (I like bananas.  Bananas are awesome), and discovered that my time in bed has caused my sadly limited muscles mass to atrophy.  This is not unexpected, I suppose, but it is a pain in the ass.  Before I was unfit, fat, and not physically capable of starting my running training.  Now, I am unfit, fat, and not physically capable of carrying a week's shopping more than 100yards without needing a breather. It's something of a step backwards.

This is not insurmountable, though.  I am feeling well(ish), and the weather has been nice lately.  I plan to start taking short daily walks- nothing dramatic at present, just around the block and back- to try and get some fitness back again.  Once I can manage that, I will start taking longer walks, and from there, we'll see about maybe the odd jog.

I know this plan isn't revolutionary or anything, but writing it down helps me focus.  And hey- it's worked for other people, so why not for me too?